Introducing AdSense for conversations

Ed: April 1 spoof.

We're happy to announce the launch of AdSense for conversations, a new type of monetization solution that "puts the 'context' in contextual advertising". Now, in just a few simple steps, you can begin displaying ads that are relevant to the topics you're discussing -- in an unobtrusive screen above your head.

Anyone taking part in the conversation can hit the ad with their hand to immediately take advantage of the product or service being offered. With our new Teleportation Technology(TM), you'll be transported directly to the site where the service is available, or have the product appear instantaneously in your hands.

Based on our omega testing, we've noticed a few common questions among publishers that we'd like to answer.

How do I add Google ads to my conversations?
Once you sign up using the link at the bottom of this post, we'll send you an adjustable screen and special AdSense headgear to attach it to. Just follow our Screen Implementation Guide to assemble it and select your desired size, such as the very effective 300 x 250 mm. Don't forget to also visit the 'Manage Ads' section of your account to customize the look and feel of your ads -- try a color palette with 336699 to bring out the blue in your eyes!

Can I prevent ads from appearing in certain conversations?
Yes; we understand that there's a time and place for ads in conversations, as a chat with a friend isn't quite the same as an interview with a prospective employer or parole officer. That's why we let you choose which conversations to target using the 'Allowed Conversations' feature, located under your AdSense Setup tab.

Why are my ads not targeted to my conversation?
If you're not seeing targeted ads, it may be that you haven't discussed a particular topic long enough for our system to determine the meaning of your conversation. We recommend rambling and repeating yourself to help our system pick relevant ads to display. Also, you may wish to try our voice targeting feature -- you can speak more loudly to emphasize certain phrases. However, these activities may result in socially awkward situations, so please proceed with caution.

What reports can I view?
You can view reports about how funny your conversations were, how much your companion was actually listening, and, if you implement the 'review my spoken English' setting, how many times you said the word 'like' or 'uh' in a particular conversation.


What if I'm stretching and I hit an ad accidentally?
We understand accidents may happen, and appreciate your concern. However, we recommend that publishers refrain from having conversations during yoga classes to prevent these types of accidental hits.

Where can I learn more about conversation ads?
For more information or to sign up, click here.